Hydrophobia, I Just Love Water!

I hate the concept of drowning. It's terrible. It's awful. It's a morbid demise. My teeth clench, skin slithers, and every moment spent around water as it fills an entire room to the brim are agonizing. My hand shakes. My breath shortens. I can feel my lungs collapse. Oh how I hate drowning…. Is what the main character must be thinking! (Did you like that?)

Hydrophobia is a game centered on a sinking ship named Titanic, and the protagonists Jack and Rose.... No wait. Oh my goodness, no! The ship's name is Queen of the World, and the protagonists are Kate and Scoot. How silly of me, but oddly enough they hail from the same United Kingdom as the Titanic (coincidence?). The first game for Dark Energy Digital, and available for XBLA, PSN, and PC.

The premise is that the world has gone to Hell, and the ocean has engulfed all known land mass, forcing people to live on boats. The Queen of the World is a city-sized ship refuging thousands of citizens from Mother Nature (score one more for humanity!) so people can continue to toil in their daily lives. At least until terrorist who call themselves the Malthusians attempt to hijack said boat and begin to slaughter everyone. They proclaim: in order to save the world some people must die so others may live, hence their motto, "Save the World, Kill Yourself".

Kate works as an engineer, and Scoot is her boss. One day she receives a call from Scoot saying there is a malfunction on the lower decks. Innocently skipping all the way there, she checks on the situation… and that’s when shit escalates! Malthusians! Lots of them! EXPLOSION! “Scoot! What’s happening?” “I don’t know! I just work here!” EXPLOSION! “Water everywhere? How could this happen?” “Do I look like Miss Cleo?!” “Let it go Scoot! Miss Cleo wasn’t psychic!” Well, something like that. Kate is thrust into a situation where in order to survive she must halt the hijacking. Scoot plays the part of control center and assists Kate via radio. Together they reluctantly uncover the Malthusians’ plot, and attempt to thwart them.

Game play is cover based third person shooter type of deal with a heap of platforming. One weapon is used throughout the campaign with a variety of ammo pick-ups, five in all: sonic, gel, semi auto, energy, and rapid fire rounds- look for them in specially marked cereals!- and a  cool compact hacking mechanism called a MAVI that can decrypt encoded systems, or hack far away consoles. The game starts you bare (No, not like that you sickos! Bare as in no weapons, and no MAVI!), and pick-ups are introduced as Kate progresses. The hacking mechanism becomes more elaborate with distorted frequencies, or encryption keys hidden in wall panels only the MAVI can detect, and near the end of the game Kate is trying to hack doors underwater!

Combat is diversified by having Kate fighting underwater, or shooting panels off the walls to surge baddies with water, or shooting combustibles to burn baddies, or shooting electrical systems to fry baddies (would you like your baddie braised, barbequed, or smoked?). The five ammo pick-ups work well, and can even be chained to cause major damage. I ran through the game using only the initial Sonic Rounds, totally missing the point of the four other ammo types, but that’s why developers must hate me so much! I got lost many a time trying to run through a corridor to avoid being drowned, but it would always happen. Then I’d have to sit through Scoot yelling, “NOOOOOOOOOO!” in his terrible voice, and repeat the process.

The acting isn’t all too great (especially Scoot, sorry!), and was pretty short (only three acts with three chapters), and I didn’t experience the “mastery of water” (some magic mumbo jumbo where Kate can manipulate water), and the ending was sad (not as in teary-eyed, but pitiful), the overall game was surprisingly an okay experience. Although the game boasted its Hydroengine superiority of water mechanics, I failed to see what was so awesome about the flowing water, or the ripples it made. It did, however, piss me the hell off every time I broke a panel to flood an area so I could get the achievement to knock three baddies with water, and the water would only lightly dampen the baddies, but would knock my character off her ass instead! (Deep breaths… remember your Karma.) B. Not a C. No, that would dissatisfy all those who worked hard on this title, and are still working to perfect it! So if ya’ll would excuse me… I need to see a therapist, because I have a phobia… of spiders.

Netdix

In the beginning, God created Netflix. And it was good. In the end, some douche raised the prices. And it blew. For years we’ve been able to enjoy Netflix streaming on our game consoles for a cheap price. It used to be $8.99 for all the DVDs and streaming you can eat. Oh, it was sexy. Throw down 9 bucks and watch thousands of movies and TV shows at the touch of a button. It felt like I owned them all. Sometimes I did own some of them, but decided to watch them on Netflix because clicking a button was easier than getting up to grab the DVD. Not to mention, some of it was in high-def. Every so often, a movie or show wouldn’t be on streaming. No problem. You could simply get Netflix to send you the DVD, all under the 9 dollar plan. Yeah. Life was sweet. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.

I remember having many conversations with co-workers and colleagues during the old republic of DVD rentals. I knew Netflix was a sweet deal, and a lot of others did too. For the price of what used to be a week rental at blockbuster or Hollywood video, we could stream and rent as much as we wanted. I was almost sure Netflix would figure out how much we were ripping them off and raise their prices. I hoped I was wrong. After all, Netflix was profitable during the golden years.

Then, last year I heard news of a Netflix price change. My god. Was it happening? Was Netflix turning evil and greedy like every other corporation on the planet? It can’t be! They let us get away with so much goodness for so long! I looked up the price change and was relieved. I might even say I understood it. The new pricing made it a dollar more expensive for blokes like me who had the 1 DVD with unlimited streaming package. Not a big deal. It was also a dollar cheaper for people who only wanted to stream. Not a bad idea. I could see the smiles on those streaming faces that don’t care about the DVDs, and I can suffer an extra dollar for my mail-in disc goodness. Whew. The Netflix price hike came, and it wasn’t too rough. Or was it a warning shot? A preview of the Netflix apocalypse (Netpocalypse! Or Flixocalypse! Or Calypso of Flixo! None are copyrighted. Just give credit).

After the slight price hike, Netflix noticed something. A lot of us forked over the extra dough. Of course Netflix failed to realize it was only an extra dollar. They took this as a “more money opportunity!” and decided to add another digit to the price. Instead of having a streaming and DVD package, streaming and DVDs are now completely separate. 8 bucks for streaming. 8 bucks for DVDs. No deal if you get both. Now, for the same benefits of the 10 dollar package (previously 9) we get to pay 16 dollars! Yaaaay! Honey, wake the kids! My dreams have come true! Apparently Netflix thought this is how we would react because their press release was full of exciting points like “Our lowest prices ever,” citing the cheap DVD packages (completely ignoring they have no fucking streaming).

I’ll spare you the “give a mouse a cookie” adage, but that sure is a fuck load of milk for one greedy ass rat. Just to put lemon juice on our freshly made wounds, Netflix also announced recently they would be splitting up the company. Netflix will only be streaming and Qwikster (new sub-division within Netflix) will only do DVDs. Of course! It’s so logical! Why have I been wasting all this time going to one site with both my instant and DVD queue, when I can just go to two different sites with two different bills and two different log ins? Netflix, you smart sexy sonsa bitches. The more they can trick the public in the future of thinking Qwikster and Netflix are two different entities, the better they can justify charging full price for both services.

The Qwikster announcement also came out with an apology video from the CEO (Reed “Money Lovin” Hastings) stating how sorry he was for everything. He admitted continuously that he REAAALLY screwed up, right before he explained what Qwikster was and never mentioned a thing about the prices coming down. He also explained “We could do a better job for both services, if we separated them.” I must have bad hearing because I could have sworn I heard “We could do a better job for both services, if we separated customer’s pee holes with a nightstick.” Scrooge McDuck also apologized and stated that it was completely his fault for how badly he communicated the change. Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone gives two shits about his communication. Paying almost double for the same service? People might care about that.

Apparently, Netflix thought Qwikster was a shitty idea too, because they scraped it less than a month after they thought of it. And so Netflix continues to embarrass itself with so many bad ideas you’d believe it was on the cover of a Madden game. They were going to do game rentals with Qwikster. That’s all TBA now. People tell me I should lay off Netflix a bit. I’ve heard it’s the studios who started charging Netflix more, and they had to pass the charge on to us. They weren’t as profitable as other businesses their size. I guess the poor company was only making millions of dollars a year and not billions. Well, I heard a lot of people started bailing and merging accounts after the price hike. So, hopefully Netflix is happy with their results. Maybe the extra money will compensate for the lost subscribers.

They should have been happy. People loved Netflix and Netflix made money. So they didn’t make as much as others. Who cares? Does profit envy twist you that much? Maybe this is why I’ll never be a CEO, but a lot of us would have been happy with a company people loved, and a profit most would kill for. No company is happy with the money they make as long as there’s more money to be made. Some companies hide it better than others. Netflix hid it well for years. Too bad for everyone they couldn’t hide it any longer. 

RAGE: No Bordered Lands in this Fall Out

It’s always nice to see older developers come out with something new. id Software, the company credited with creating the first-person shooter genre, has come out with their version of a post-apostolic future. RAGE takes place after the real life asteroid, Apophis, hits earth and wipes out almost everything. Yes, Apophis is a real asteroid but its not going to hit Earth, just past really close in the year 2029. RAGE takes place in 2135; you awake in your Ark and are quickly saved from a group of bandits by Dan Hagar (voiced by John Goodman). RAGE’s bread and butter though, is shooting and killing.

I haven’t played a shooter this polished in years. It may take a few minutes to get used to the controls but after that, it’s smooth sailing. You start off with only the pistol if you didn’t get the Anarchy Edition, so make sure to loot every body so you don’t run out of ammo. There are many different bandit tribes; some are more acrobatic while some build RC Bombs. Mutants are the more generic enemy. These guys can be killed easily, but give no loot. The Authority is the new government and has the best weapons and armor. There are so many different enemies, weapons, and ammo types, the combat will stay fresh for a while. Sadly, there are a lot of weapons but you can only equip four at a time. I found that I stuck with my Crossbow, Double-Barrel Shotgun, Machine Gun, and Sniper Rifle.

The Level Design was very unique. At first glance, it seems very linear. With most doors being locked, you might feel trapped on a single path. id Software did this on purpose, closing off some path ways then opening them on later levels makes it feel like a new area to explore. The Wasteland is where they bring in the vehicles. For the most part, vehicles are only used to get from quest to quest but they are fun to drive. At first you start with an ATV. It doesn’t have guns on it but you do need it for an achievement. Later you get a buggy that you can upgrade with machine guns, rockets, and pulse weapons. In towns, there are races you can do for extra cash, but you will find that most of that cash will go towards your vehicles to do more races and make more cash. It’s a vicious cycle. Towns also have plenty of places to gamble your money away.

With so many good aspects in RAGE, it’s easy to over look the bad, but it’s there. The only competitive multiplayer is demolition derby. You have to race from marker to marker collecting points while shooting others. It’s a nice change of pace from all those games that just throw multiplayer in to get sales. The co-op is a fun but short experience for you and one friend. The missions are different than single player but you play through the same areas. The co-op also keeps track of points so you can be competitive if you like. With everything id Software did right in this game, I find that the small problems fade after you realize you’ve been playing for five hours already. A great game that I will be playing over and over, but it’s not perfect.

8 Balls

Ladies and genitals, our eighth podcast has arrived! This week we talk about RAGE. The cast has retained a shorter length (for now) and is full of intelligent dimwitted conversations about RAGE’s single player, versus, and co-op modes. Join us and learn about id software’s take on a post-apocalyptic future. Spoilers lie ahead, but we give fair warning. Plus, who’s not manly enough for spoilers? Am I right, genitals?! Click “email us” to tell us what you think or just post your annoying opinions in the comments for this episode. Subscribe to us on iTunes here! Tune in next week when we talk about Forza Motorsport 4. Thanks for listening!

Sign up to be a Guinea Pig for the New Xbox 360 Dashboard Update!

Love suffering through glitches and freezes so the rest of us don't have to? Sign up for the Xbox 360 dashboard update preview program! You'll get to download the new dashboard and try out all the new features before release (which still has no confirmed date).

You can sign up for the preview program on Major Nelsons's blog here. The blog entry also contains details of the new update. You'll be able to play around with the new Kinect controls, better Facebook integration, and the new "beacon" function (Allowing you to send mass invites to all your friends. That totally doesn't sound annoying at all!). The feature i can't wait for is cloud saves. You can back up your Xbox Live profile and game saves to the cloud, and easily access them from any console. The perfect weapon against forgetting your damn memory card or flash drive.

The new update should be completely compatible with the older versions of the dashboard. So, engaging in party chat with friends who don't have the new dashboard yet should still work seamlessly (should).

The date for the preview program hasn't been announced yet, but you should be notified via email when it does (if you signed up).

Oh Sony, You Tickle Us

Once again the electronics giant is under attack. It was reported on 1up.com earlier today that Sony is suffering something of a security breach. The problem isn't as dangerous or large as what happened back in April, but it was confirmed that several PSN accounts have had multiple login failures on them.

If you sign in to your PSN account today and it forces you to log in again manually, you could be a part of the 0.1% of accounts affected. Sony assures the public that this is not a continuation of the big one earlier this year, and that any information used to hack into users accounts were obtained through other (illegal) means. No credit card are at risk this time around (although Sony will refund any fraudulent charges if anything happens).

The multiple failed log in attempts could lead to some users accounts being locked when you try to sign on legitly. If your account is locked, you should have received an email detailing how to unlock it and change your password.

Sony's getting really good at this "getting hacked" thing. Hopefully they'll make that an Olympic sport this year, otherwise Sony might just retain a talent for security breaches with nothing to show for it but a million angry customers. Poor rich incompetents.

Mass Effect Multiplayer Announced

That's right. From the mouth of the man himself, Casey Hudson, a multiplayer experience for all who will play Mass Effect 3! It is a four player co-op experience that if played, will boost the chances of Commander Shepard kicking Reaper butt cheeks! If ignored, and a player opts not to play the multiplayer, it will not negatively affect the single player campaign. So it's a win-win on all fronts!

The co-op missions are mostly about capturing and defending key positions around the galaxy in aid of the galactic war. Players will have the choice of selecting a variety of Alien races, and corresponding classes, and teaming up with buds to kick ass. Characters chosen on the multiplayer will have their own leveling aside from the single player, and moral choices from ME1 and 2 will not impact any element in the Multiplayer. The multiplayer is being handled by Bioware's newer crew in Montreal, and will not take away from the single player.

Along with the news of the multiplayer, Bioware announced that a system which determines battle-readiness for facing the Reapers will be available dubbed Galaxy at War. It is a quirky way of managing player stats that will include multiplayer progression, and hints at other possible Mass Effect apps and games. Meaning the multiplayer will not be the only manner in which to raise the survival rate of the war. Again, using the Galaxy at War system is optional, and will not negatively affect the single player. It really is a WIN-WIN!

All in all, Casey Hudson assured that the best possible outcome can be achieved by just playing the Single Player campaign without further association with the multiplayer or future apps. So for all you worrywarts (DefHalan!), skipping the multiplayer will not take away from the experience.

Keep an eye, ear, sixth sense open for more details as the release date approaches! Visit Bioware.com for more news!

(Great.... Now should I be Turian Infiltrator, or Quarian Engineer? Or maybe Krogan Vangard? Decisions decisions.)

World of Good!

World of Goo is a masterpiece. There was a time when 2-D games were considered top dog. Now 3-D games have stolen the attention of the world. Every time someone asks me what my favorite game of the year is, my mind immediately thinks of the big 3-D titles (Mass Effect, Uncharted, Halo etc.). Then along came World of Goo. Play 5 minutes, and it will have you fooled it’s just a bridge building game. Play the whole thing, and World of Goo will be punching you in the nads screaming “How DARE you judge me so early!” Even though it came out a few years ago, this is a title that will have you thinking “Game of the Year” no matter what year you’re in, what dimension it’s in, or how bad your nads hurt.

World of Goo starts out simple. You take little black goo balls and bind them together into structures in order to solve the puzzle of the level. This allows you to build bridges, erect towers, and clear paths for other goo balls to follow. Sounds simple enough, but the game doesn’t stop there. Like any quality title, each level is constantly challenging you to apply what you’ve learned in the levels before. As you progress, new types of goo balls are introduced, allowing you to build new weird structures throughout the game. With around 50 puzzles to solve, you’ll get to discover a lot of new gameplay mechanics in this small package.

The story is a feature you wouldn’t expect to be included in a game like this. 2-D puzzle solvers don’t bother with cut scenes or narrative because it often detracts from the gameplay (and is unnecessary). Normally I would completely agree with this sentiment, but World of Goo does story in a way that is so subtle and smart, you’ll be happy it’s there. Behind every new gameplay mechanic is a cleverly executed piece of story that justifies it. The cut scenes are short, creative, and never bothersome. Each one does an amazing job of getting you excited for the next new world or gameplay mechanic you’ll get to play in.

2-D games may have lost the attention of the masses, but this is a game that definitely made me turn my head back to the dimension. It has everything you would expect out of a top notch 3-D game: fantastic gameplay, unique art style, varied levels, and a beautiful soundtrack (available for FREE on their website). World of Goo emanates a level of quality you would think impossible coming from a few guys maxing out their credit cards. You won’t get a better game for ten bucks on Steam. It is available on WiiWare as well with a co-op mode, but it’s essentially the same game with two cursors. Despite all the 3-D games you play this year, it will be a strong competitor for your Game of the Year, any year you play it.

Casty Number Slevin

This week, Dante reviews Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. We even save a little time to talk about the new Battlefield 3 open beta that just released for the PS3, 360, and PC. Finally, the G-Cast is shorter! Now, we know there are many people out there that wish the G-Cast was 14 hours long every episode. These people have what we at DR. G-Man refer to as “sexy voice addiction.” To reduce the number of cases, we have decided shorten the length of G-Cast and make sure everyone gets smaller doses of our sensual sounding utterances. Subscribe to us on iTunes here! Email us and tell us what you think! Enjoy!

G-Bonus Ep. 1: This Time It's Personal

G-Bonus! This is a very special episode (yes. I mean retarded.) of G-Cast. Before every episode of our weekly cast and/or sexy voice fest, we often just sit around, get ready, and talk about the most random crap you can think of. Sometimes it’s game related. Sometimes it isn’t. Instead of letting it all go to waste, I took a little extra time this week to cut together some of these outtakes and put it into a full episode of shenanigans. Hope you enjoy it. This episode will also include a few spoilers from games we've talked about before on the show. You have been warned. Tell us what you think! Subscribe to G-Cast on iTunes here! Email us with thoughts or incoherent ranting! Thanks for listening!

Six Cast Under

Ready to hear about some Gears?! Alright, well go get ready. I’ll wait. Just don’t make us late this time. Your mother will get furious! In this episode, Landon, Ivan, and David sit down (or maybe we’re standing. You’ll never know!) to discuss the Gears of War trilogy, ending with our sexy impressions of the latest installment. Remember how we said this podcast would be shorter? Neither do we. That’s why I’m giving you my scouts honor (whatever that means) that our next podcast will FINALLY be shorter. Until then, just enjoy the soothing sounds of our mouth noises for an hour. Email us and tell us what you think! Subscribe to us on iTunes here!

Crimson Alliance Review: Get Your Swords Sharpened

Crimson Alliance is a top view dungeon crawler RPG made by Certain Affinity. Yes, Certain Affinity, the same people that made the Halo: Reach Defiant Map Pack and the Xbox Live arcade game Age of Booty. You may have gotten Crimson Alliance for free if you got all the Summer of Arcade Titles. If not, you can pick up one character for 800 points ($10) or buy all classes for 1200 points ($15). Either way, this is a fun experience for you and your friends.

The simplicity lets any type of gamer jump in, but has the depth for veterans of the genre. It has simple controls for all three of characters: X is a standard attack, Y is a Stun Attack, B is a Defensive strike, and A is a Dash move. Even though it sounds simple, the controls can get tricky to master.

Co-op is a big deal in Crimson Alliance. The four-player co-op, either on the same system or over Xbox Live, allows you to always have someone to play with. There are some secret passages that require more than one person to get past and some doors that only open to a certain class, but the game can be completed in single player. You will want one of each class playing just so you don’t miss out on any secrets.

Sharing is caring in this game. You don’t have to fight your teammates for gold. Any gold one player picks up, everyone gets. The gold is important to upgrade your character. You don’t level up or get stronger in this game. It’s all about the weapons. You buy new weapons and clothing to make your moves stronger and give yourself more health. Some weapons have added abilities like lighting strikes or extra damage to certain enemies.

Crimson Alliance isn’t perfect for all. It does have some issues that are hard to overlook: camera is way too far out, all characters must stay in the same area, it’s hard to target enemies with ranged attacks, and without a real level up system, it is hard to feel the progression of your character. But, as a gamer who doesn’t play many dungeon crawlers, I do feel this game had what I was looking for in a social environment. I was playing with friends and it wasn’t so easy I felt like I was playing a child’s game.

Also, there is a new level that will bring new missions that are perfect for co-op. It will add new loot, new enemies, and new challenges.  It is coming out October 12^th for only 240 points ($3).

Gears of War 3 Review: Please Check Life In At the Door

It’s been three years. Long for the satisfying crunch of another man’s skull under your boot? Addicted to hearing your enemies scream as you burn them alive? In desperate need to use your chainsaw for something besides carpentry? You know what you need? NO, not another trip to the Catholic Church! You need Gears of War 3 all up in your Xbox! Gears is back and offers the same ball busting, gut spewing pleasure we all know and love. With a few additions like Beast Mode and four player co-op, this is a package bleeding at the sides with content.  Gears of War 3 includes the longest campaign Epic has ever created, and the most refined multiplayer experience in the series. Get on your athletic cup. This installment is so good, you’ll feel like you got kicked in the nuts.

The campaign starts about 2 years after you sunk Jacinto at the end of the last game. The COG military has collapsed and everyone is doing their part to gather whatever supplies necessary to survive. You play Marcus Fenix once again and assemble a team to kick some locust ass all over the planet Sera. The story kicks off with a data disk Fenix receives from the former COG chairman. The disk holds a video message from his father saying he knows how to stop the locusts, and it has something to do with Imulsion (Sera’s version of oil and the cause of 80 years of world conflict before the locusts showed up). The most curious detail in the video comes from daddy Fenix looking older than when they thought he died. Marcus sets out to find his father and unravel the secret behind what he was talking about.

For the first time in the series, you can grab three friends and hop right into the campaign (Previous installments only allowed two player co-op). The feature is nice but I can’t help but think it was a bit of a wasted opportunity. The first Gears ushered in a new era of co-op, allowing players to work together in ways besides just splitting up enemies to shoot. One player could hold a spotlight on the other so he wouldn’t get devoured by the game’s night loving critters. Some levels had you taking separate paths to open doors for each other in order to progress. It was a type of co-op I hadn’t seen in shooters and couldn’t wait for more. I expected Gears of War 3 to carry exciting new sequences like this with four players, but the amount of split paths and separate jobs are dramatically less than before. You still split up sometimes, but it’s always 2 and 2. Where’s my cool X-Men moments that can only happen with four people helping each other out? The feature definitely feels like just a way to get four players into the campaign instead of an exciting new opportunity for fresh gameplay.

The single player still packs a punch (did I just say that?) and delivers quality set pieces and theaters of war that rival the best shooters out there. Every act is full of something memorable and screams for multiple play throughs. As if this wasn’t enough, Epic also crafted us the best Gears multiplayer experience to date. As soon as you’re done ripping through the story, you can duke it out in competitive multiplayer, crush some A.I. in Horde Mode, or crush even more A.I. in the brand new Beast Mode.

Competitive multiplayer is addicting and has definitely come a long way from the glitch heavy Gears of War 1. Everything seems smoother in general. Any online game is susceptible to connection problems and exploits, but Gears of War 3 has finally reached the industry standard in multiplayer lag. You can fight online across ten maps in 5 vs. 5 matches. The game doesn’t boast a huge number of multiplayer modes and none of them are overly unique. A few variations of death match, king of the hill, and capture the flag. Each one has a Gears spin on it, but none of them offer a set of rules that can’t be found anywhere else. The series has always fallen short on modes, but the matches play so well, it doesn’t hurt the online experience a great deal.

If player vs. player bores you, hop in to Horde where fifty waves of A.I. locusts are just dying to get their head blown off by you. The Horde Mode, first introduced in Gears of War 2, allows you and four friends to fight as soldiers against the A.I. locusts in waves.  At wave fifty, the game ends and the victory chants ensue. In Gears of War 2, the explanation could pretty much stop there. In Gears of War 3, there’s a lot more at your disposal. There is now an entire economy to get lost in as you fight the good fight. Every enemy you kill in horde gives you money. Money buys defenses (turrets, spikes, ammo). Buying defenses unlocks more powerful ordinance over time. This adds a whole new level to Horde and keeps you coming back. Your unlocks carry over from match to match, so you’ll want to hop back in numerous times just to see every piece of equipment you can acquire. A new unlock is a new cool way to rip a locust apart.

A brand new mode called Beast allows you to do the same thing from a different perspective. You are a part of the locust horde, charging towards a group of defending soldiers with your grotesque brethren at your side. Kill every last human you see. Unfortunately, Beast mode isn’t nearly as robust as Horde and doesn’t really seem needed. There are only 12 waves and it doesn’t offer anywhere near the depth of any other feature in the game. Killing some humans with a few friends is all in good fun, but you won’t be coming back to this one often.

Gears of War 3 is a fantastic shooter. It boasts a quality campaign everyone should play, with an online component that will keep you engaged for months. With the promise of DLC, it’s likely you’ll keep this disc in your Xbox for a long time. It isn’t without its flaws. The co-op could have been better, online modes could have been more plentiful, and Beast mode felt like an afterthought. However, each one of these is instantly forgettable when you’re screaming at your friends and blasting away grunts until 4am. Buy Gears of War 3. Love Gears of War 3. Ignore all of life’s responsibilities. Instant bliss is guaranteed.

SWTOR release date announced

So after my initial outburst of geeky excitement (roughly lasting a full 15 hours), I have great news for anyone intrested in the Old Republic. Bioware has announced SWTOR's release date! North America will see it on December 20, and in Europe on December 22.

Pre-ordered copies will have early access to the game, and a color stone for a weapon. Three choices are available for pre-order: the standard game, a digital deluxe edition, and a collector's edition, priced at $59.99, $79.99, and $149.99 respectively.

The standard game will not have any extra features but is the cheapest route. The digital deluxe edition will be pre-orderable through Origin, and will include five additional items: Flare gun, holo dancer, holo cam, STAP, and training droid. The collector's edition will include: a Gentle Giant Darth Malgus statue, collectible metal case, Journal of Master Gnost-Dural, Old Republic galaxy map, Custom Security Authentication Key, The Old Republic music CD, High-quality Collector's Edition box. It will also include the five items as well as an exclusive mouse droid, and collector's edition in-game store.

All packages will include 30 day free play! Huzzah!

Visit the official SWTOR site for more details, and make sure to reserve me a copy. You heard me.

Cast Five!

Think our other podcasts were lame? So did we! That’s why you have to listen to this one because it’s WAY better. That, or this is just a ploy to get you to listen this week’s episode. Either way, suck it. We know we said it would be much sorter this time, but we’re all a sexy group of liars. This episode turned out about as long as the others. Next time it will turn out to be shorter. We promise. No more empty promises. Not from these sexy liars. In this episode, we talk about TGS! Everything you want to know about the barrage of Vita and DS announcements right here. Email us and tell us what you think. Subscribe to us on iTunes here! Thanks for listening!

Knights of the Trine

Need a 2D side scrolling action game with multiple classes and upgradable abilities? Me neither, but then along came Trine and reminded me why I did. Trine allows you to traverse a medieval fantasy with the power to switch between different classes on the fly. Each class has their own abilities that you can upgrade if secrets are found and enemies are killed.  Along with a variety of levels and clever exploration, Trine is full of every ingredient needed in a compelling game.

Trine is the story of an empire in disarray after the death of a king and an undead army taking advantage of the chaos. Our heroes (a wizard, a thief, and a knight) accidentally stumble upon an artifact called a Trine, which binds the souls of the people around it. From this point on, each hero can only exist physically one at a time. Most games would allow you to switch between characters without a thought, but Trine cleverly makes this quirk a part of the story. After the incident, our heroes press on to save the kingdom and separate their souls.

The game allows you to upgrade your abilities as well. Each character has a short list of skills that help you get through each level. The wizard can conjure up boxes out of thin air (great for reaching secrets up high), the thief can shoot fire arrows to light up dark levels, and the knight can break through walls. As you kill enemies (or collect experience potions) you gain XP, allowing you to upgrade all these benefits. Being able to create one box at the beginning of the game is helpful, but the ability to create up to 4 boxes and few walkways opens up a whole world of possibilities for exploration.

You can play traditionally with a keyboard and mouse, but the game also gives you the option to plug in a 360 controller if it’s more comfortable for you. I assume most PC gamers would just be comfortable with the old QWERTY, but I found the platforming easier with a controller. You can also plug in multiple keyboards and/or controllers and play with up to three people (each taking the role of one of the characters). Unfortunately, there’s no online play, but having each class on screen at once makes for some pretty clever puzzle solving that isn’t possible in single player.

This game was nothing but fun. Yes, the enemies do get a bit redundant, and the narrator doesn’t know when to shut his trap sometimes, but everything else hits its mark. The graphics are gorgeous and wondrous, killing enemies is a blast, and gaining experience is addicting. One play through lasts about 8 hours, but the game screams for a second run with its many secrets and hidden areas. The pricing is a bit steep for a 2D action title (20 bucks on steam), but if you have the dough, Trine is an adventure no PC gamer should miss.

G-Cast!! Episode Foooooore!!!

The first four G-Cast episodes have been removed from our rss feed because we feel they don’t represent the quality we want for our show. They were meant to be test episodes from the beginning and will still be available to listen to or download on the site. So, if you’re really curious about how the G-Cast all started, click the link below… I warned you though.

Listen to Episode 4 here (right click to download).

Original Description:

It is here! The fourth and final test episode of G-Cast. In this bundle of ridiculously sexy sounds, we talk about the third party’s press conferences (Ubisoft and EA) and touch a little bit on Germany’s Gamescom. We’ll be discussing Battlefield 3, Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, Mass Effect 3, and more. Next Friday will be the first episode of what G-Cast will probably sound like from here on out. The events will be recent and the episodes will be shorter. What’s that you say? Every moment you get to hear our voices is a gift from god? What you say may be is definitely true, but we think some people might find a 30-40 minute podcast ideal (unless we get a ridiculous amount of emails/comments opposing this). Next week, we will be covering TGS and talking about what pieces of news caught our eye. Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes here!

343 Announces Headlong (giggity!)

With TGS in full swing, there has been a lot of game news. Despite being in Japan, Microsoft wasted no time showing off a new Halo 2 map for Halo: CE Anniversary.

Breakneck: It was called Headlong back in Halo 2. This was one of the more interesting maps from the2004 installment. It was open enough for vehicles but closed off enough to make the Energy Sword a tool of destruction. With its multiple buildings and streets to explore, Headlong was one of the bigger maps in Halo 2. 1 Flag CTF matches would take hours, thanks to the long journey carrying the flag from one base to the other. It will be exciting to explore the riches this level offered once more.

Other maps that have been announced before are:

Timberland: From Halo: CE on PC. For many of us Halo Fans, this will be the first time playing on this map, but for some of us, it will bring back warm fuzzy moments of playing Halo: CE online with mouse and keyboard. This map was on the bigger side. It could hold 16 players nicely and had a lot of vehicles to play around with. I didn't get to play this level as much as I would have liked, so it’s nice to hear it’s coming back.

Prisoner: From Halo: CE, and one of my personal favorites, Prisoner is a very tall map with many ramps and ladders leading up to the top. The vertical gameplay made this one of my favorite Juggernaut maps. You could feel like a Predator looking down on your prey. Maybe even feeling bad about what you are about to do to them, but knowing that won't stop you. Prisoner is going to be a fun map to go back to and try out some new game-types with.

Installation 04: The new Firefight map. This area is taken out of the second level of the Halo: CE campaign. At the end of that level, you are asked to defend your position until pelicans arrive to rescue you and a group of trapped marines. It supports ally AI players that fight alongside you (a first for Firefight). So whether you are playing alone, or with friends, it will be a fun place to defend over and over again.

Damnation: Another map that I loved. With a giant waterfall flowing right into a Covenant base, and being one of the tallest maps in the game, made this a map to be remembered! It has plenty of good vantage points for snipers or close quarters for down and dirty shotgunners. This level had it all except vehicles. There was rarely a dull moment.

Battle Creek: Most people know it as Beaver Creek in Halo 2. This was a small confined space that was easy to memorize but hard to master. I played more CTF matches on this map than any other, and was the most played at all my LAN parties. I bet you can’t find a single Halo fan that doesn’t have a story on this level. I can't wait to storm the creek once more.

It was also announced that there will be two versions of each map. The Classic version and the Enhanced version. The Classic version stays true to the original map. Enhanced versions, have been changed to incorporate the armor abilities from Reach. The Halo: CE pistol will be making a comeback as well. In gametypes named “Anniversary,” the pistol will become the Halo: CE pistol with 3 shot kills. We will have a full review when Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary releases November 15^th 2011.

Trenched Review

Trenched is just the game XBLA needs. With very few tower defense games on the service, Microsoft grabbed themselves an exclusive on Tim Scafer’s latest title. As anyone would expect from a game in this genre, you will get to fight the enemy in waves as they try harder and harder to get through the defenses you have built. The game has a few twists on the classic tower defense concept and presents a solid experience that any tower defense fan would enjoy.

Trenched doesn’t work quite like every other game in its category. Instead of building defenses from a top down view, you get to join the fight alongside your turrets to play a more direct role in your victory. You control a mech called a Trench and pack copious amounts of guns and ammo allowing you to blast the enemy away 3^rd person shooter style. Unfortunately, because you’re on the ground at all times, setting up your defenses isn’t quite as easy as top down versions of the genre. Every emplacement and upgrade requires you to run to the desired location to deploy. You won’t find any streamlined management of your defenses here.

However, being on the ground does have some advantages. Your Trench is fully upgradable with a healthy selection of weapons and emplacements you can choose before every mission. Any enemy you kill earns you XP and helps you gain levels. This unlocks new equipment and makes certain enemies easier to deal with. The end of every mission awards you with a nice wad of cash to be spent on all those fancy weapons you just unlocked. You can even eventually upgrade your Trench’s legs to make running all over the battle field a little less inconvenient. With the benefit of XP grinding, you can replay old levels to gain more money and experience to make later levels a little easier.

Trenched doesn’t have much of a story to tell. An evil scientist of some sort wants to destroy the U.S. army so he can use his advanced radio creatures to broadcast his message of… evil. This isn’t too much of a disadvantage because this kind of game doesn’t really need much more than that. The gameplay is where it counts.

Defend structures. Get money. Buy weapons. Defend more structures. This formula is fun but does get slightly repetitive. New enemies and defenses are constantly being introduced to prevent all the levels from blending together, but it only goes so far before you feel like doing something else. Luckily, Trenched doesn’t exploit this flaw. As soon as you’re done with it, it’s done with you. Not too long and plenty of fun, but you can’t help but think you should have gotten a little more for $15.

Out of all three of Schafer’s recent downloadable games (Costume Quest, Stacking, Trenched) this is probably my least favorite. However, it is still very entertaining and I enjoyed every minute I played. It even reminds me of how the brutal legend RTS sequences should have been (another game genre typically played top down, but retooled in a 3^rd person view). If you had trouble with those levels, don’t worry, the 3^rd person angle is a much better fit for tower defense. If you’re a fan of the genre and want to play something new but familiar, buy it. If not, you can survive waiting until it falls in price a little.

Three's Company Tooooo!

The first four G-Cast episodes have been removed from our rss feed because we feel they don’t represent the quality we want for our show. They were meant to be test episodes from the beginning and will still be available to listen to or download on the site. So, if you’re really curious about how the G-Cast all started, click the link below… I warned you though.

Listen to Episode 3 here (right click to download).

Original Description:

Awwww yeah. Episode 3 baby! The words every Half-life fan is dying to hear (unfortunately, not in this context). In this episode, David (DR. G), Landon (DefHalan), and Ivan (Dante) sit down to talk about Sony’s E3 Press Conference. We’ll be discussing Uncharted 3, Resistance 3, PSVita, and Sony’s new 3D PlayStation monitor. Join us as we plow through another sexy sounding episode (you’re welcome world) talking about everything PlayStation with no sleep necessary. This is the third in our “test” podcasts. Tune in next Friday for the fourth and final “test” podcast when we talk about the 3^rd party companies and what they offered at this year’s show. Don’t forget to email us if you have any questions (or death threats) at drg@drgman.com, defhalan@drgman.com, or dante@drgman.com. Suscribe to our podcast on iTunes right here! Enjoy!