Review: Dust off your Wii. It’s Zelda Time.

By: Landon "DefHalan" Dastrup

The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword is here. It has been a long wait. Twilight Princess came out as a Wii launch title. People wanted to swing Link’s sword with the Wii Remote but Twilight Princess didn’t deliver. It was basically a port of the GameCube version, and they only added some features that used the Motion. The sword was just a waggle to swing and you would occasionally point at the screen to aim your Bow, Slingshot, and Hook Shot. That was about it. The Wii Motion Plus was our next hope for complete control over the Master Sword. Finally, Skyward Sword is here making all my, and maybe your, dreams come true.

Showing off the unique controls at E3 2010 and 2011 made a lot of people worried it would be to childish and destroy what made Zeldaspecial. Don’t worry, these controls work. The controls bring all the different items and tools to life. The sword uses the motion controls more than anything else. With the 1:1 motion, it’s like your holding the sword in your hand. The added weight of the Wii Motion Plus attachment on older Wii remotes might help with the illusion. With using precise swings of your sword, you can tear through enemies. Not correctly matching your moves with your enemies’ weaknesses will cause you to lose health.

Flying your Loftwing, swimming underwater, and free falling in the sky are all controlled by the Wii Remote. While flying your Loftwing, you can tilt the Wii Remote left and right to turn, tilt forward to dive and gain speed, and fling the Wii Remote up to climb. A is used for a speed boost like older Zelda games while riding Epona. Swimming underwater controls similar to flying your Loftwing. Tilting forward causes you to dive and pointing left or right moves you in those directions. Free falling is controlled slightly different. Simply tilt in the direction you want to fall.

The motion controls are also used for the items you collect. First there is the Slingshot. Not much new. Just aim on screen where you want to shoot. The Beetle has you using the Wii Remote like you are directing it where to go. Be careful, fly it too far away or too high up and it will stop and return to you. The Bug Net is back. This item hasn’t been seen in a console Zelda since A Link to the Past and plays a big part in upgrading your weapons, potions, and shields. Different upgrades will require different bugs or relics.

Almost every item can be upgraded. Shields can be made stronger so they don’t break as easy. They also look cooler the higher they are upgraded. The Beetle, after a free upgrade later in the story, can be upgraded to move faster. The Slingshot’s upgrade can make the seeds scatter, almost like a shotgun, to do more damage. Health potions can be given an extra boost to replenish more hearts. You don’t get to upgrade your sword, except through the story. Might be a missed opportunity, but I don’t know what they could have upgraded with it. All these upgrades might change how often you use the item, but it doesn’t change overall gameplay.

Skyward Sword’s core is like most Zelda games with a focus on exploration and combat. Finding little tricks to destroy enemies faster is key. In Skyward Sword, it’s about using items to your advantage. You use the Beetle to cut the stems on the Deku Baba plants to kill them instantly and the Whip to pull enemies closer or take items from them. Using all your items efficiently will make this adventure easier. The exploration elements are enhanced with sprint and the energy meter. Doing to much in a short amount of time will cause Link to slow down or let go of a ledge. There are also beacons you can set on the map to find those beautiful areas easier.

The graphic style is something I have never seen before. It’s the perfect mix of the serious graphics of Twilight Princess and the cartoon graphics of Wind Waker. Faces and characters work very well with the visuals. Characters are more dynamic than any Zelda before. In the beginning, the relationship between Link and Zelda tugs at your heartstrings and makes you really care about her. The story is immersive and keeps you on the edge of your seat until the very end.

Ghirahim is a very intense villain. He toys with you. He beats you. He does a weird tongue thing. I want to stop him. There are villains you hate because you have to. There are villains hate because they are evil. Ghirahim is the latter. He is always going after Zelda, trying to capture her to free the Dark Lord. Ghirahim is smart but cocky. Your first battle with him doesn’t really work out in your favor but you get your point across, Link is not to be messed with.

As a Zelda game, Skyward Sword is the best. As just a game, Skyward Sword is amazing. It properly uses motion controls and tells a story so unique and amazing it can only be told like this. Everything in this game is mixed together so well I was blown away. Nothing felt unnecessary. I want to thank everyone at Nintendo and everyone that has ever worked on aZelda game. In all my years of gaming I have never imagined a game could be this close to perfection (Nothing is Ever Perfect).

Majora's Mask: The one shunned, the one forgotten

Ocarina of Time. Of course you remember the title. Maybe not the gameplay, the story, nor the graphics, but the name is pertinent and forever will be. But has anyone ever stopped to think about what came after? Has anyone ever stopped to think, “Hey, I remember Nintendo made another Zelda after Ocarina!” Unfortunately, the majority of the population shuns every existing title after Ocarina. Driven into a corner, mistreated and alone, the other Zelda titles struggle to stay afloat in a world ruled by favoritism. I’m here to stop such a cruel, inhumane treatment of other Zelda games. I’m here to shed a little light on their world, and show them that love exists outside. And for as little as a penny a day, you too can help raise awareness. Take a stand and say, “Hey, I remember Nintendo made The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask!”

Majora’s Mask was released two years after Ocarina of Time, and is a direct sequel to it. Set in a town called Termina, seven months after the events in Ocarina, young Link rides in on the beloved Epona to do what he does best: to be a tool for the rest of the world (half kidding). He is quickly screwed over by a skull kid wearing Majora’s Mask and forced to wear a Deku mask which turns the hero into an actual Deku. Link (the Deku) finds his way to the town, and unmasks himself into the form of a boy again. And they lived happily ever after…. Until the same damn skull kid unleashes the moon to crash into and destroy the town within three days! Fuck you skull kid! So now Link has to man (boy) up, and find the four giants who can help him stop the moon's descent.

The game is an innovator where the Ocarina can be used to slow, speed, or reverse time. Masks are also the centerpiece of the game where each can be worn to create unique effects (i.e. bunny ears make Link quicker, great fairy mask attracts fairies). Special masks can turn Link into a Deku, Gorgon, or Zora that allow Link to possess the necessary prowess to travel within specific terrains (or turn the Ocarina into awesome instruments). Four main areas are available for exploration and dungeon crawling, each with unique terrains accessible with the corresponding mask.

The combat in the game is symmetrical to its predecessor with the exception of the special moves and items associated with the special masks. Many side quests are available- more so than the predecessor- and dungeons are beefier with mask-specific puzzles. No Ganondorf though, and only a glimpse of Zelda. Oh, and the fan-girls who swooned over older Link won’t get none of that in Majora’s. Honestly though, you won’t miss them at all with this title (Especially no more "Hey, hey, hey, you motherfucker listen!"). Kicking that skull kid in the galls, and playing that cool ass guitar as the Zora are more than enough to keep this game appetizing. And at the time of its release, the new expansion pack for the N64 added new crisp textures to the game.

By far, this is a very worthy title. I give everything an A+, with reason, but few titles are very deserving like this one. Elaborate puzzles, and fresh gameplay unlike other Zelda titles make Majora’s Mask a unique and must play for any Zelda fan. But if you still bat an eyelid, I promise, you will miss out on an awesome game (that, and you just made my shit list). So again… for a dollar a day (fees went up), you too can help Majora’s Mask feel wanted and appreciated.

Ocarina of Time: Still Timeless. Still Ocarina-y.

It’s been almost exactly 13 years since Ocarina of Time wowed us on the N64. The Legend of Zelda was strictly a 2D title until the moment of Ocarina’s release. A 3D Zelda seems like a natural fit now, but at the time, I wondered how they would translate the game into the third dimension without losing its spirit. Zelda was tied to 2D as tight as Mario was. One thing that gave me hope and got me excited, was the success of Super Mario 64. Our favorite Italian Plumber went through the same dimension change a couple years earlier and still holds a place in my heart as one of the best Mario games in history. Could Nintendo bring us that same magic to translate Zelda into the polygon world? Of course they could! (slaps you) How dare you doubt them!

The game’s story is magical and worthy of a place among the best fairy tales out there. Our adventure takes place in Hyrule Kingdom. Ganondorf, an evil king of thieves with the ability to turn into a Man-Bear-Pig, is desperate to find an ancient relic called the Triforce. It is said that anyone who holds the Triforce will be granted one wish. It's assumed Ganondorf wont be wishing for world peace. You play as Link, a little fairy boy with an appetite for adventure. Things go south when Ganondorf captures the kingdom and chases down Zelda for a piece of the Triforce. Link tries to interject, but Ganondorf pushes Link aside like some twirp. Oh no you di’int! Now begins the adventure of stopping Ganondorf and getting some sweet revenge.

The meat of the game is in its dungeons. Each dungeon has a theme (water, fire, shadow, etc.) and is full of puzzles that will get you further toward your ultimate goal. Some of the temples can stump you at times, but that’s part of the fun. There’s no greater feeling than discovering the solution to a puzzle you’ve been working on for hours.  Many puzzle games now have gotten easier and easier. This allows for a wider audience to play, but doesn’t give the same satisfaction you would get with harder adventures. Ocarina of time is the perfect game to experience the nostalgia of when the challenge was great and the reward was satisfying. Thank god for virtual console (and the newly released 3DS version)!

You will travel to many towns and upgrade your equipment every now and then, but this is not an RPG. No XP is given, and there are very little side missions. This truly is just an adventure (and a damn good one). The story isn’t laid on too thick once you start tackling dungeons. All the dialogue is strictly text based with no voice acting. However, the narrative is still extremely compelling and has a twist that will shock you!... as long as you’ve been living under a rock.

This game is a treasure and a masterpiece. There is no way you can own a Nintendo console without this gem in your library. The experience of playing this beautiful piece of art is an irreplaceable part of any gamer’s life. Playing it in 1998 blew me away and still gives me chills over 10 years later. This title will make you feel like you finally got to live that adventure you always dreamed about having in the backyard as a kid. If you haven’t played this game… (slaps you again) Play. It. Now. If you have, give it another go. Skyward Sword is coming out and there’s no better way to get you in the mood for another 3D adventure than playing the game that started it all.

To crave Bayonetta is okay... in many ways

Bayonetta is saffron. A versatile ingredient spanning from cuisine to medicine, used to add pizzazz to a dish or enrich one’s health. Expensive and refined, it is not meant to be cast as another spice like cinnamon. Not to be ordained in a melancholy of stocks and broths, or B's and C's. Bayonetta is saffron where a pinch of it can spruce even the flattest of tastes.... Or maybe just a hot anime chick you can never touch.

Developed by Platinum Games and the dude who brought us Devil May Cry, Bayonetta is an over-the-top, kick-in-the-ass, never-see-it-coming extravaganza like none has seen. It dishes baddies out like free samples at (insert wholesale warehouse store. i.e. Costco), and flails quirky scenarios faster than (insert pop culture driven television station. i.e. MTV), but makes it work better than what MacGyver has at hand (insert everyone knows who MacGyver is!). Yes, it is that awesome.

The story sets out in a medievaly type of place where Hell and Heaven are duking out for domination? The protagonist is a super sexy amnesiac witch who is trying to discover herself, and the antagonist is a super sexy psycho witch who is preventing the other super sexy… blah, blah, blah? Blah, blah? Ah! Whatever! The premise is this: a super sexy witch with the power to utilize her hair to wreak havoc upon the heavenly creatures from up above sets out on a quest to fuck shit up (Period).

Action (and half naked sequences) is what brings Bayonetta to life, and keeps it pumping. All the set moves are unlocked right from the get go, so it does not waste any time dicking around with learning new combos or large tutorials (although the loading screen is a practice session in between chapters). The player feels like a badass as soon as the first cinematic ends and the game only progresses further in that sense.

Weapons, techniques, and items can be obtained through purchase. Things like shotguns and grenade launchers can replace a gun strapped to the heel for a devastating explosion of phantasm, or a cool katana that owns everything (and I mean everything!)! Techniques like turning into a cuddly fanged panther or more allotted time for witch time to pants those sons-a-bitches. But, they don’t come cheap, no, not at all. Although not cheap, there is a solution for all the cheapskates in the world!

Destroy a baddie, and it will drop a weapon. Pick up the weapon, and use it against another baddie! Few games will use the function of picking up an enemy’s dropped weapon (excluding all shooters), and the game makes it a good function even better by implementing various ways the weapon can be used. For example, using a spear, Bayonetta will proceed to make use as a stripper’s pole (knocking heads as sexy as can be)! Break a few vases and items will be dropped. Happy-go-lucky cheapskates (leave a tip once in a while… grumble grumble)!

Boss battles are unique, none play the same, and once defeated they will spawn in like normal baddies in other levels. They come in by the dozen, so expect to be using health often. The torture finishing moves are awesome to watch (especially the one with the big ass dragon)! The difficulty doesn’t scale too far (unlike Ninja Gaiden), but leaving upgrades untouched will weigh in heavily during later boss battles (especially techniques). Personally, I am a completionist when it comes to leveling up characters, but a few major upgrades could set the tone for the entire game.

The story might be quirky and the lines very cheddar, but the thought gone into the battle, and the level progression make this game more than solid. These guys got it. They are at the pinnacle of action games with Bayonetta. Let the story slide, a little bit of bug spray, and you get a solid A worthy game! An A+ worthy game you say? Fuck it. A+! Go play it on Xbox 360 (cause the PS3 version had issues with loading) and experience the super sexy sensation Bayonetta will give you (especially with those lollipops… you’ll see)! (And not in that way you sickos). (But totally in that way) <3.

World of Good!

World of Goo is a masterpiece. There was a time when 2-D games were considered top dog. Now 3-D games have stolen the attention of the world. Every time someone asks me what my favorite game of the year is, my mind immediately thinks of the big 3-D titles (Mass Effect, Uncharted, Halo etc.). Then along came World of Goo. Play 5 minutes, and it will have you fooled it’s just a bridge building game. Play the whole thing, and World of Goo will be punching you in the nads screaming “How DARE you judge me so early!” Even though it came out a few years ago, this is a title that will have you thinking “Game of the Year” no matter what year you’re in, what dimension it’s in, or how bad your nads hurt.

World of Goo starts out simple. You take little black goo balls and bind them together into structures in order to solve the puzzle of the level. This allows you to build bridges, erect towers, and clear paths for other goo balls to follow. Sounds simple enough, but the game doesn’t stop there. Like any quality title, each level is constantly challenging you to apply what you’ve learned in the levels before. As you progress, new types of goo balls are introduced, allowing you to build new weird structures throughout the game. With around 50 puzzles to solve, you’ll get to discover a lot of new gameplay mechanics in this small package.

The story is a feature you wouldn’t expect to be included in a game like this. 2-D puzzle solvers don’t bother with cut scenes or narrative because it often detracts from the gameplay (and is unnecessary). Normally I would completely agree with this sentiment, but World of Goo does story in a way that is so subtle and smart, you’ll be happy it’s there. Behind every new gameplay mechanic is a cleverly executed piece of story that justifies it. The cut scenes are short, creative, and never bothersome. Each one does an amazing job of getting you excited for the next new world or gameplay mechanic you’ll get to play in.

2-D games may have lost the attention of the masses, but this is a game that definitely made me turn my head back to the dimension. It has everything you would expect out of a top notch 3-D game: fantastic gameplay, unique art style, varied levels, and a beautiful soundtrack (available for FREE on their website). World of Goo emanates a level of quality you would think impossible coming from a few guys maxing out their credit cards. You won’t get a better game for ten bucks on Steam. It is available on WiiWare as well with a co-op mode, but it’s essentially the same game with two cursors. Despite all the 3-D games you play this year, it will be a strong competitor for your Game of the Year, any year you play it.

Osu! The other Ouendan/EBA!

E-B-A! Ou-En-Dan! Hurray! Ever play EBA? How about Ouendan? Neither? I guess we can’t be friends. Before I get going on Osu, get your feet wet and play the hell out of either two. Ouendan and EBA are music rhythm games played on the DS that are filled with guilty-pleasure music to play along to. Simple to play, hard to master; all you have to do is tap circles on the stylus and spin the wheel when prompted. Easy enough (laughs). I (or one of us) will write a good ‘ol review for it (I’d almost bet money on G doing that). 

Osu is a freeware spawn of Oudendan (the original) created by some dude who just loves the damn games for the PC, and more recently on the I-touch. When first downloading the game, players will have only the “how-to-play” option, but going onto the official site provides songs which can be downloaded to play for free. Filled with music from head to ass, there are literally endless amounts of songs from which to choose. The best part: songs are created and uploaded by the players, so any creation can be shared with anyone- no matter how shitty the song!

I have really enjoyed this game. I play for hours on end and never tire. I get blisters on my fingers, I sweat from cheek to cheek, I don’t get hungry or thirsty, and I don’t sleep. At first it is awkward playing with the mouse pad, as it is too clunky when quick paced songs appear, but after a few hours of practice, I’m sure you too will be enthusiastic to continue. Some of my favorite hits include Star Maze from the Mario Series, The Pokémon Gym Leader Battle Theme from Colosseum, and Random Katamari songs.

The I-touch version fares better as the touch pad makes for easier play.The only drawback I would say is that when hitting the circles, my fingers block out the entire screen, so a stylus pen would definitely come in handy. Damn my overly obese fingers! Damn them to hell! It seems to me though that the I-touch version is a cash cow because it gives you a tease of only four songs and expects people to fork up some dough for extra songs. I know I would gladly hand over my paycheck and work a few corners for extra songs, but others might not be as willing....

Anyway, Osu offers different modes, such as: hidden, mirror, x2, ect. not included in the original to spice things up. Nothing new with the design of the game, everything is a carbon copy save for the mouse addition. A very solid game for those who love EBA, Ouendan, or music rhythm games in general. If I were to give it an A+, I’d be biased as hell.... But you know what? A+ it deserves! So as my heart starts beating to the bass rhythm, and my hand cramps up from exhaustion, I still hunger for more Osu!

Civilization 5 Review

Civ 5 is just one of those games. You start it thinking you can control when you stop. You check the time realizing “5 minutes” was really 4 hours. You constantly lie to yourself wanting to do just one more thing before you stop. Every true gamer knows and loves this feeling and is always on a grand quest to find it. Here it is again from the man who brought us the other few games in our lives that did the exact same thing. This is civilization 5 and it has come to eat your time.

For those who don’t know, Civilization 5 is a turn based strategy game with a classic top down view. Rather than just being strictly military, like the majority of strategy games, this franchise has always had a little bit of a twist.

There are multiple ways to win in Civ 5: Military, Diplomacy, Culture, Science, or Doomsday (players hit the 500 turn max). Each one caters to a unique play style. You can build an army and destroy all of your foes to get the world map to have one satisfying color, or you can just as easily make friends and play defensively while aiming for another victory like science or culture. Each one is perfectly balanced so you can go for whatever victory you want and not be hindered by anything but your skill.

As well as making the right moves for the right victories, it’s almost equally as important to choose the right civilization. There are 18 civilizations to choose from, all with different advantages. Some bonuses include getting culture for every enemy you kill (Aztecs) or faster production towards world wonders (Egypt). Each civilization caters to one or two victories to compliment your style of play. If you’re a try-it-all kind of guy/gal, every civ allows you to experiment with new gameplay and keep the game feeling fresh every time.

Some might get turned off by civilization 5’s simplicity; Civ 4 was way more complicated (especially with the expansion packs).  I see civ 5 to be perfect. Not quite as simple as the console version Civilization Revolution, but not as complicated as it’s PC predecessor. This makes for a game that has an above average learning curve, but not so high it will repel everyone with a life. Civ 5 is beautiful and addicting. After 370 hours, I can’t wait to play just one more turn. It’s just one of those games.