Roblox is known for being a fundraising extravaganza, helping raise dough for Haiti, and more recently Japan. Is has been well received by parents and kids alike, and even TRUSTe backed. Hell, it has an I-touch App to boot. Yes this game is just swell, it couldn't possibly be bad? Could it?

I feel like the point of this FREE MMO is to lure kids into a false sense of security as it regularly impregnates viruses into very expensive computers. Well, that and to raise money. It should have occurred to me that maybe a free online game could possibly have been whoring around, but I’m optimistic and it’s been backed by some good people, so I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. Sadly... my computer will never be rid of the ghonaherpesyphillaids it contracted from that whore....

Aside such minor inconveniences, the game is a multitude of different “game-types” that range from kiddie games- like freeze tag and hide ‘n seek- to more elaborate games for older kids- like gun games and more gun games- made by random Robloxians. Players immerse themselves into the Roblox world by creating their characters using many different interchangeable Lego-like (definitely Mega Blocks) clothes, and even building a home or multitude of homes. Game play is very simple just point and click or use the arrow keys; different “game types” dictate different hot keys- usually using the 1-0 keys. I’ve seen elaborate puzzles, capture the flag, building contests, and even action games where Robloxians attempt to shoot the crap out of each other; the sad part is, although the atmosphere of the games are all cool-looking and elaborate, the truth is, it is only limited to the shitty core game play.

The interface is slow, like a fat kid chasing chocolate cakes- I mean he gets there and he eats the damned things, but jeez- and even when the game responds the lag is horrid. Shoot ‘em up’s quickly become a horrid mess of laggy masses of blocks haggardly blowing up for no apparent reason. And I am running it on an i-7 with 1 gig dedicated damn it! What else could it ask for? A PC that could run Crysis?

All-in-all the game isn’t a steaming pile, but the amount of faults add up to make it a contender. Would I recommend this to anyone? Actually, yes. To my enemies (suck it). Well, if you’d like to take a swing at this mother I’d recommend updating your anti-virus before starting up. It’s not a bad way to keep kids at bay while you pick up Mass Effect and play for hours on end; I find instant noodles keeps them away when they’re hungry. I’d have to give this contender the grade it deserves, a C+, Only because it works toward a good cause. So what do a Trojan, a Worm, and a Blue Screen have in common? They play Roblox.

E-B-A! Ou-En-Dan! Hurray! Ever play EBA? How about Ouendan? Neither? I guess we can’t be friends. Before I get going on Osu, get your feet wet and play the hell out of either two. Ouendan and EBA are music rhythm games played on the DS that are filled with guilty-pleasure music to play along to. Simple to play, hard to master; all you have to do is tap circles on the stylus and spin the wheel when prompted. Easy enough (laughs). I (or one of us) will write a good ‘ol review for it (I’d almost bet money on G doing that).

Osu is a freeware spawn of Oudendan (the original) created by some dude who just loves the damn games for the PC, and more recently on the I-touch. When first downloading the game, players will have only the “how-to-play” option, but going onto the official site provides songs which can be downloaded to play for free. Filled with music from head to ass, there are literally endless amounts of songs from which to choose. The best part: songs are created and uploaded by the players, so any creation can be shared with anyone- no matter how shitty the song!

I have really enjoyed this game. I play for hours on end and never tire. I get blisters on my fingers, I sweat from cheek to cheek, I don’t get hungry or thirsty, and I don’t sleep. At first it is awkward playing with the mouse pad, as it is too clunky when quick paced songs appear, but after a few hours of practice, I’m sure you too will be enthusiastic to continue. Some of my favorite hits include Star Maze from the Mario Series, The Pokémon Gym Leader Battle Theme from Colosseum, and Random Katamari songs.

The I-touch version fares better as the touch pad makes for easier play.The only drawback I would say is that when hitting the circles, my fingers block out the entire screen, so a stylus pen would definitely come in handy. Damn my overly obese fingers! Damn them to hell! It seems to me though that the I-touch version is a cash cow because it gives you a tease of only four songs and expects people to fork up some dough for extra songs. I know I would gladly hand over my paycheck and work a few corners for extra songs, but others might not be as willing....

Anyway, Osu offers different modes, such as: hidden, mirror, x2, ect. not included in the original to spice things up. Nothing new with the design of the game, everything is a carbon copy save for the mouse addition. A very solid game for those who love EBA, Ouendan, or music rhythm games in general. If I were to give it an A+, I’d be biased as hell.... But you know what? A+ it deserves! So as my heart starts beating to the bass rhythm, and my hand cramps up from exhaustion, I still hunger for more Osu!