Roblox, Mega Blocks at it's finest.

Roblox is known for being a fundraising extravaganza, helping raise dough for Haiti, and more recently Japan. Is has been well received by parents and kids alike, and even TRUSTe backed. Hell, it has an I-touch App to boot. Yes this game is just swell, it couldn't possibly be bad? Could it?

I feel like the point of this FREE MMO is to lure kids into a false sense of security as it regularly impregnates viruses into very expensive computers. Well, that and to raise money. It should have occurred to me that maybe a free online game could possibly have been whoring around, but I’m optimistic and it’s been backed by some good people, so I was giving it the benefit of the doubt. Sadly... my computer will never be rid of the ghonaherpesyphillaids  it contracted from that whore....

Aside such minor inconveniences, the game is a multitude of different “game-types” that range from kiddie games- like freeze tag and hide ‘n seek- to more elaborate games for older kids- like gun games and more gun games- made by random Robloxians. Players immerse themselves into the Roblox world by creating their characters using many different interchangeable Lego-like (definitely Mega Blocks) clothes, and even building a home or multitude of homes. Game play is very simple just point and click or use the arrow keys; different “game types” dictate different hot keys- usually using the 1-0 keys. I’ve seen elaborate puzzles, capture the flag, building contests, and even action games where Robloxians attempt to shoot the crap out of each other; the sad part is, although the atmosphere of the games are all cool-looking and elaborate, the truth is, it is only limited to the shitty core game play.

The interface is slow, like a fat kid chasing chocolate cakes- I mean he gets there and he eats the damned things, but jeez- and even when the game responds the lag is horrid. Shoot ‘em up’s quickly become a horrid mess of laggy masses of blocks haggardly blowing up for no apparent reason. And I am running it on an i-7 with 1 gig dedicated damn it! What else could it ask for? A PC that could run Crysis?

All-in-all the game isn’t a steaming pile, but the amount of faults add up to make it a contender. Would I recommend this to anyone? Actually, yes. To my enemies (suck it). Well, if you’d like to take a swing at this mother I’d recommend updating your anti-virus before starting up. It’s not a bad way to keep kids at bay while you pick up Mass Effect and play for hours on end; I find instant noodles keeps them away when they’re hungry. I’d have to give this contender the grade it deserves, a C+, Only because it works toward a good cause.  So what do a Trojan, a Worm, and a Blue Screen have in common? They play Roblox.